Where The Hell Is Artie Lange?

We all know Artie's gone AWOL for the past few days. And Howard's stopped talkin' about it, which means it's getting serious.
So what's the deal, Artie? Is the softball movie really making you crazy, did jeff the vomit guy send you over the edge, or have you just taken a cannonball dive off the powder wagon. We're worried about you buddy...dust yourself off and get back to the show.

Stern fans, what do you think? Post your thoughts, theories, good wishes, etc. below
UPDATE: Artie has been sighted!!! Check out the photos.

Comments

He went west with KC Armstrong

Posted by: Scaramouch at June 8, 2005 10:45 PM

Latest SernFanNetwork poll:
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Posted by: Jellio at June 9, 2005 08:12 AM

Its probably about the movie. It was a reasonable request to ask for time off for shooting, but Howard's antiquated work ethic wouldn't have it. Artie probably got tired of the 20 hour days and said screw you.

Posted by: TurkeyburgerDLX at June 9, 2005 11:17 AM

Maybe a blackjack or craps table somewhere?

Posted by: Jeff Ryan at June 10, 2005 12:57 PM

I thought I saw a Artie dressed as a Pig, driving a car on the Malibu coast highway and it looked like he had been eating a powdered donut. (just kidding).

Hope Artie returns soon.....

By the way...did he ask Scott "The Engineer" to help him produce a tape where he says...."And now for Niggolas Cage"....

Posted by: Bill Strahl at June 10, 2005 03:34 PM

Did Artie go to Santa Maria to show support for Michael Jackson?

Posted by: Jack Mayhoffer at June 10, 2005 03:40 PM

Is Artie hanging out on "The Jetty" in Bayville?

Posted by: Tom Chiusano at June 10, 2005 03:43 PM

Note to self, "Arite is quite a funny addition to Stern's show and we miss him. Come back soon.".

Now get your funny ass back to work before I find you to make "Dirty Work 2", where we give colonics to elephants and brush them out with a push broom.

Posted by: Mitch Weaver at June 10, 2005 03:47 PM

Artie....get back to Stern's show or I'll marry Beetle Juice and force you to be an uncle to our kids. You can choose to change diapers for your new nephews or change the ones for your new brother-in-law.

Posted by: Stacy Lange at June 10, 2005 03:49 PM

Don't pay attention to the other posting, I'm the real Stacie Lange. Artie, if you don't return to the show, I'll maybe sit in and then Robin and I can fulfill Howard's dreams.....and I don't have any "comdamolatia of the knee".

Posted by: The Real Stacie Lange at June 10, 2005 03:57 PM

Maybe Artie's Mom made a huge fixing of meatballs and Artie just hasn't finished eating. He'll be in as soon as he's done.

Posted by: I.A.TITALL at June 10, 2005 04:00 PM

I'm tired of cleaning up the mess of questions asking where you are...so get back to work.

I want Robin in a good mood so I can sidle up to her and talk all sweet.

Posted by: Ted The Janitor at June 10, 2005 04:12 PM

That damn Artie took my handstamping job at the pool. Just because he has two good arms he thinks he's better than me. Artie has always got a drink in one hand, so he only has one good arm for handstamping.

Tom...can I have Artie's job? I'd even promise to wash your balls if you took me golfing. I'd even spit shine your putter.

Posted by: Jeff The Drunk at June 10, 2005 04:59 PM

Artie is currently chained to the plumbing in my basement. I am not gay, but I have to admit, I ass-raped him.

Posted by: at June 10, 2005 11:56 PM

Artie, where are you??? Please wake up and remember you have a day job, we miss you and hope you are ok.

Posted by: kateforstern at June 11, 2005 12:15 AM

dana probably dumped his ass, but fuck her artie, there's other fish in the sea!

Posted by: j.ro at June 11, 2005 12:45 AM

who gives a fuck? let's talk about me! i was made for that job! I'd suck HOWARD'S cock if he let me!

www.joeyboots.com

Posted by: Joey Boots at June 11, 2005 04:18 AM

I think he's on a fishing trip in Iceland.

Posted by: UK Stern Fan at June 11, 2005 03:22 PM

F Artie, i hope they kick him out from show. Annoying fat f.

Posted by: 3rd degree burns at June 11, 2005 03:25 PM

I'm Joey Boots, Fuck you'all . i'm gonna ban everyone...

Posted by: Joey Boots at June 11, 2005 03:30 PM

Artie just finished pumping my Boston Terrier full of semen, and now I get sloppy seconds.

Posted by: Bob Freeman at June 11, 2005 04:13 PM

It'll be okay Artie. I can get better.

Posted by: Cheryl-Marie at June 11, 2005 08:15 PM

Suck it up and get your ass to work. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I need time off! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I have the shits and cant come to work!!

FIRE!!

Posted by: Sexy Ass Janet at June 12, 2005 12:16 AM

Artie is dead fucker! Fuck you Artie!!!

Posted by: Joey Boots at June 12, 2005 10:02 AM

Artie is dead fucker! Fuck you Artie!!!

Posted by: Joey Boots at June 12, 2005 10:02 AM

I think artie is an artist, engaged in the art of john belushi. hes the next generation in the vein of chris farley and horatio sanz. its about time for artie to get back on the wagon of the white girl, eat some more mcgriddles and put back on the weight, and die you fat fuck!

Posted by: schwag-jon at June 12, 2005 05:17 PM

Damn you Artie.....how did you escape from my basement?

Now who will be making my Joke CDs and mailing them out to my many fans?

I'll have to brush off the grass from Nancy's ass, tell the black guy to find some other "bim" to "F", and put her back to work.

Don't forget to see me at Rascals where I'll be trying out my NEW material for the lunch crowd.

Posted by: Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling at June 13, 2005 01:58 PM

It's the curse of the Jackie chair- He owns four houses in Jersey, sells crap on the internet, and is looking at making Dirty Work 2.

Posted by: Shelly in St.Louis at August 1, 2005 12:37 PM

I think I saw Artie last night in a "I just saved myself a bunch of money on my car insurance" commercial!

Posted by: Frank at August 29, 2005 12:05 AM

CNN was on location with some news-breaking story and there was Artie standing behind the reporter looking kind of worried.

Posted by: Frank the Mailman at August 29, 2005 12:11 AM

The location of the last story was Aruba

Posted by: at August 29, 2005 12:13 AM

artie was seen holding hands with his gay lover jackie martlin

Posted by: at November 18, 2005 05:34 PM

This is so erie, as we all know now where Artie was the whole time... strung out on junk.

Poor bastard.

Posted by: hydrallus at October 19, 2006 10:36 AM

so, now, we all know he was doing heroin.

Posted by: jennifer at October 21, 2006 10:00 PM

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